Two people are seated in a room adorned with plants and books. The person on the left is speaking, demonstrating emotional control skills, while the person on the right listens intently and takes notes.

The Struggle is Real

Life is full of challenges, but the real struggle is how we choose to face them. Many of our problems stem from self-deception, fear, and societal pressures. Understanding these forces is the first step toward real change and personal growth.

Orwell’s Problem

We have come to accept dishonesty as a part of life, but being dishonest has turned our lives into tangled webs of deception, half-truths, and manipulation. Our relationships are deeply superficial, and our conversations are limited to niceties, so we never get to know each other. We have become “self-alienated” strangers. We can do better than this.

Why We Fear the Truth

Here’s the problem. Being honest and real has been espoused for millennia, but most people don’t believe in it for a second. They think it's naive and even foolish to try to live and behave honestly. This reinforces the belief that we’re too weak to handle the truth.

A person with long red hair stands on a beach at sunset, facing the ocean with arms slightly raised, embodying emotional control skills as they find peace in the tranquil scenery.

Losing Ourselves in Uncertainty

In uncertain times like these, where there is so much blatant hypocrisy, people experience a particular difficulty in finding themselves. More and more people experience the problem of Willie Loman in The Death of a Salesman, “He never knew who he was.” This shrinking of consciousness leads to feelings of depersonalization and apathy.

Two women seated indoors, one with glasses holding a tablet and stylus, demonstrating the art of emotional control skills to the other. A shelf adorned with plants and books subtly enhances the serene atmosphere.

Orwell’s Warning Still Stands

This is the message in George Orwell’s book 1984 which is generally given credit for creating the basic framework for the kind of propaganda we face today. Orwell used lies, oversimplification, and reversal of meaning to install firmly held beliefs that are widely accepted but completely unsupported. It’s a warning about the extreme people in power use to manipulate and control our lives. By the way, it’s as true today as it was in 1949, when the book was written. To evolve and grow, we have to learn how to take control of our thinking.

An example of the only education based rehabilitation program in the California department of Corrections

The Human Dilemma

Are you that person inside your head, the one you spend the majority of your time with, or are you the person saying all the right things and obeying all the rules that everyone else thinks you are? Some of the great philosophers, most cherished poets, and brightest social scientists have tried to answer that question. In fact, the struggle to answer the question, “Who am I?” has been referred to as the “Human Dilemma.” In essence, who are you when there’s no one around to impress and no roles to play, who are you then?

A woman in a patterned blouse discusses emotional control skills with a young man in a denim jacket, seated at a wooden table in an office setting.

The Ever-Changing Self

I think the best answer to that question comes from psychoanalyst Rollo May. In May’s view, our “self” is an ongoing process rather than a fixed entity. Since we can experience ourselves both objectively and subjectively, the “self” emerges as a property of oscillation between these two points of view. The answer is an enigma, a puzzle to solve, because the answer is we’re both. It’s not an either/or proposition because we’re both, simultaneously, and so is everyone else.

Person with closed eyes stands outdoors near a beach at sunset, exuding calm and showcasing remarkable emotional control skills.

Balancing Roles and Integrity

The “Human Dilemma” is a delicate balancing act of accepting and playing our roles while, at the same time, honoring our integrity and sense of individuality. You lose your balance whenever you lie… you lose that part of you that makes you unique. No one ever started out life with the hope of living out someone else’s dreams, and no one who ever accomplished anything great aspired to be normal because it’s possible to be normal .... and be absolutely miserable.

Red lines radiate upward from the bottom center against a transparent background, symbolizing the energy and growth found in self-discovery workshops.

Live Life on Your Terms

Stop living by someone else’s rules. It’s time to take control of your life and face the truth. Ready to break free from illusions? Start your journey today!